A Love Tale Echoing Globally: Wedding in Kurdish Diasporas

Written by Kerem Muldur

Weddings are one of the most crucial keys to understanding the fundamentals of a culture. They reflect the beliefs, traditions, and customs of the community owning that culture. In this article, we will deepen into the wedding culture of Kurdish people, in particular, how did this culture evolved over time at Kurdish Diasporas: how was it influenced by other cultures and influence other cultures.

Traditional Kurdish weddings embody a layered culture that predates Islam, yet are influenced by elements introduced through centuries of Ottoman and Persian rule. These ceremonies historically served not only as unions between individuals but also as alliances between extended families and tribes, reinforcing networks.

Dancing stands as the main entertainment tool in Kurdish weddings, where attendees dance for 2-3 hours in circular formations, dating back to tribal religious practices , called as “halay”, differentiating between “govend” and “halpkare” styles.

Pre‑Islamic elements—such as fertility rites, circle dances symbolizing unity, and the use of bright, protective colors—merged with Islamic matrimonial customs like the nikah contract and gender‑specific rituals under Ottoman and Turkish rule.

Central to Kurdish weddings can be simplified into these ritual stages:

The şerbet or proposal visit, where elders negotiate dowry and blessings.

The henna night (şevê hina), a women‑centered pre‑wedding gathering symbolizing joy and protection from misfortune.

The public wedding ceremony, often a multi‑day affair featuring communal feasting, music, and dancing (govend/halparke), accompanied by dengbêjî—epic narrative songs recounting heroic love stories and moral lessons sang by the “dengbej”. These oral traditions preserved regional variations of marriage customs across Kurdish communities.

While each Kurdish region—Behdinan, Sorani, or Hawrami—adds its own dialect, music styles, and attire, the unifying thread is the collective participation: weddings are not private events but community festivals, reaffirming shared identity and transmitting cultural memory to the next generation.

The origins of Kurdish weddings were constituted at ancient times by Kurdish soldiers while conducting a pre-fighting ceremony. The leader of the ceremony would wave their flag to arouse the soldiers while soldiers stamped their feet in harmony. Over time, this practice evolved into a dance held by civilians at significant events such as the new year, harvest festivals, and most importantly, weddings.

Germany is the biggest Kurdish diaspora if Turkey doesn’t count, with the number of Kurdish people living in this country reaching 100.000. Therefore, the Kurdish weddings were influenced in terms of pre-wedding activities, the place of the wedding, the meals being enjoyed, the music being played, and the decoration.

German Polterabend porcelain smashing culture, which also stands as a proto-wedding event, influenced Kurdish vase-smashing, adding European-style candy-filled shards.

Dinner culture was also highly influenced, where European-style wedding cakes were introduced to Kurdish weddings as a cake-cutting event after the govend dance.

Place and atmosphere of the weddings took lots of inspiration as well, such as the shift to festival-like open tent weddings and LED backdrops influenced by German laser-light shows.

Finally, just like the plants can not be imagined without water, the most important part of the weddings, dance is nothing without the music. European classical-jazz music influenced this pillar of Kurdish weddings a lot, resulting in addition of German brass sections and violin-led entrances to Kurdish folk music.

Sweden is home to roughly 80,000 people of Kurdish origin, making it one of Europe’s largest Kurdish diasporas. Kurdish weddings in Sweden show influences in pre-wedding gatherings, venue choice, catering, music, and attire.

Swedish lounge-style decorations transformed the biggest pre-wedding event, henna gatherings, into chic, banquet-hall “ladies’ nights” with a more modern atmosphere.

Venue regulations spurred community-center ceremonies complete with LED-lit stages just like in Germany, and slideshow photo-booths showcasing wedding highlights.

Speaking of the change in meals, Swedish buffet culture replaced whole-lamb feasts with multi-station cold-dish buffets, blending Kurdish mezze with Nordic salads

In terms of music, disco culture fused electronic dance beats into govend circles, energizing traditional zurna rhythms with club-style soundscapes, while Swedish brass ensembles inspired saxophone additions to Kurdish folk bands, enriching ceremonies with brassy flourishes as well.

Denmark, with around 30,000 Kurdish residents, hosts vibrant Kurdish communities across Copenhagen and Aarhus. Here, wedding traditions adapt in legal rites, venues, festivities, music, and planning services.

Similar to Sweden and Germany, the atmosphere of Kurdish weddings adopted brief registrar-led ceremonies at City Hall, thanks to Denmark’s streamlined civil-marriage laws, before the larger, multi-day Kurdish reception.

Venue and planning combine Danish professionalism and licensing: full-service wedding planners coordinate private-hall celebrations complete with thematic LED backdrops, indoor fireworks finales, and hybrid bars pouring whiskey cocktails alongside traditional Kurdish tea.

Despite these adaptations, the heart of the wedding, the govend circle dance, henna night, gold-jewelry gifts, and extended communal celebrations, is conserved for the Kurdish weddings at Denmark Diaspora.

In this article, we examined how Western modernity reshaped Kurdish weddings’ music, décor, and cuisine, from German porcelain-smash candy vases and Swedish buffet spreads to Danish LED stages and indoor fireworks. Yet core rituals like the govend circle dance, henna night, gold-jewelry exchanges, and multi-day communal feasts remain steadfast, anchoring each celebration to its Kurdish roots. These stylistic adaptations mirror the evolving identities of Kurdish diasporas, blending new cultural influences with ancestral traditions. Ultimately, diaspora weddings both reflect and reinforce this balance, affirming how Kurdish communities honor their heritage even as they embrace life abroad.

References:

1. A Kurdish wedding: Dance, eat and party like at a festival. (2024, November 14). Moving Jack. https://moving-jack.com/kurdish-wedding-dance-traditions/

2. Hauke, L. (2025, July 24). 9 German wedding traditions that may surprise you. Lingoda. https://www.lingoda.com/blog/en/german-wedding-traditions/

3. Saya, B. (2024, May 22). Kurdish diaspora celebrate cultural heritage at folk festival in Germany. Medya News. https://medyanews.net/kurdish-diaspora-celebrate-cultural-heritage-at-folk-festival-in-germany/